Today, Eldest daughter pulled out a box of old photos of her and The Siblings. Most of them are at least 15 years old and as we looked through dozens of pics, I noticed something was missing. Or more specifically, someone was missing. Me! Do you remember the "Where's Waldo?" books. He's difficult to find because there is always so much going on around him. This is probably a common phonomenon with moms because we are either behind the camera or busy dealing with mischevious children, picking up messes, or responding to the cry of "I'm hungry."
I'd like you to take a look at this photo. Do you see something missing? Aside from the fact that I'm the only one on this particular stretch of beautiful Pacific Coastline, my children are glaringly absent. Yes, it was the first vacation in years and the first time I've gone to California as a tourist; now I understand why people flock there, both to live and to visit. The weather was beautiful - I love the beach in the winter - the food was delicious - especially the sushi - there was no smog and no fog and no tourists - except me. But am I tourist? Not really, I was just going back "home" to visit my sisters, laugh a lot, visit other family, and eat good food. But as is characteristic of me, I forgot my camera and a five year old flip-phone was no replacement for a Minolta. Although I love technology and use it from 9 to 5, I'm completely deficient at home - evidenced by the flip-phone! So now I have to ask my sisters to email pics that I can't download. Is there a smart phone in my future? Probably.
The four decades I lived there (wow, that's a long time) I resented all the people who moved to my home state from other places. Now I understand what drew them, so please forgive me for being cranky! Although the sand felt wonderful between my toes and I miss my sisters and other family, I have no desire to return. After 10 years, it is no longer home. The Lone Star State may be home but it's still too soon to tell. A visit to Galveston, with the Texas sand under my feet may be all it takes to settle down permanently.